Silhouette Of a Life
by Jettrooper12
Summary: Raph wakes up on the street to find that he not only lost his way, but a lot more
1. Chapter 1

**New Story! Yay!**

**So this is my first attempt at a first person story so if you find any mistakes  
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**Sorry!**

**And i don't like the summary so i will come up with a better one when I'm not in a rush!**

**Edit: I made a mistake! I meant to put 2017, Gah!  
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**So anyway  
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**Enjoy!**

**I own nothing!  
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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

**Silhouette Of A Life**

***Crash***

***Grunts***

***Scream***

***Yells***

***Gun shots***

***Chilling Silence***

***Body hitting the ground***

***Groan***

***Another body hitting the ground* **

….

Darkness surrounds me, I fear for my life. No one around me, no light in the distance, just me and darkness. I call out for help, screaming. No one responded, just the sound of my voice trailing off. I begin to have trouble breathing, feeling the sweat roll down my eye and hitting my lips. The bitter taste enters my mouth and I have trouble getting rid of it. I wipe my hand across my forehead, feeling the sweat transfer from my head to my hand. I shake it off and begin to walk around in the dark.

I scream "Help!" and listened. Hearing my voice trail off into the distance, I feel numb all of a sudden, like I couldn't even hold myself up anymore. My knee's buckled and hit the ground hard, I placed both of my hands on the floor and try my best to balance myself, trying not to stumble to the ground, which seemed kinda hard right now.

I clench my teeth and push myself back to my feet. As I stood for a second, my senses became screwed up. I think I'm seeing things, I think it heard something, like a whisper. "Who's there?" I say, I jumped at the sound of my own voice, sounding all deep and congested. I cough, one cough was followed by several more, I tried to stop myself, finding it harder then ever.

Once the coughs stopped, I breath in heavily, taking in all the air I could before exhaling and proceeding forward into the darkness.

I freeze.

My skin turned cold.

I look ahead to see them, standing there, waiting for me. I want to call out to them, to tell them I am here. It feels like I haven't seen them in ages. "Guys" I say in my rough voice, I watch them, wanting them to respond, but I see them looking at me, without moving. I reach out my hand to them, proceeding to walk. The numbness came again, making me stumble to the ground.

My body jerked and my eye's snapped open as a return to the land of the living. I instantly recognize the feeling of rain his my side, skin cold, muscle's sore, and as I lay there, letting the rain wash over me, I can't help but wonder how I got here. The last memory I recall is one which confused me. Maybe I hit my head really hard and ended up in the alley way. He could remember everything perfectly, he left the lair at six o'clock, Saturday night, January 10, 2012. Everything fell into motion in my head, but something still feels wrong, like I'm missing something.

I kind of just want to lay here for a while, but I know that's a bad idea, first of all someone could see me and I don't want to keep Leo and the other's waiting. "Fu*k" I say, I remembered Mikey wanted me home by ten so we could play his game. Actually, Mikey said he was going to go for a run at around 8ih. Maybe he's still out here.

Ok now I really have to get up, I start to push himself up, expecting a cry of pain, but surprisingly, it didn't hurt, lucky me. I hop to my feet and stretched hard, I grunt in pleasure as I feel the tingly sensation roll down my back. I breathe out in relief and begin to climb a ladder on the building. Am I even near home? I wonder.

When I reached the top, I looked over the city, I can't really see anything familiar, except the 24/7 nude bar around the corner, I was always curious about that place, though I could never get in, I still wanted to know what the big deal was.

I let out a large sigh, turning around, I stare at the rooftops, the beautiful sight that I always loved. Then my eye's dart to some movement a couple buildings down, I instantly think foot ninjas. Then I remember, foot never travel alone. Then it hit me. "Well damn" I say, "He did go out, I'm proud of that knuckle head"

I steadily begin to run to him, starting out in a jog, then picking up the pace. He begins to run away, I could never win in a race against him. I bit my lip and pushed myself to go faster. Then I lowered my pace when I saw him slow down, then just completely stop.

I was close to him, not close enough to touch him or for him to find me, but close enough to see him. He…He looked different, like he was more toned and serious. What? Did he read that book I got him for Christmas, How to be serious. I laugh softly at the thought. Then I literally fell over when I saw Mikey turn around and holding his nun chuck's in the attack position. "Who's there, I heard you" I hear him say in a gruff voice. What the Fu*k, his voice was certainly not that deep when I left. Something is going on here, I decide to just come out.

"Calm down Mikey" I say, "It's only me", My suspicions are confirmed that something's wrong when I see Mikey's face switch to shock. "What's wrong?" I ask curiously.

"Who are you" He responded

"What?" I say confused, "It's me…Raphael…You know you're brother" I tell him, he just kept giving me that look.

"What's wrong with you" I finally asked him

"Raph?...Is that you?" Mikey asked me

"…Umm…Last time I checked yeah it's me" I say

Mikey walked up to me, I got a full view of his face, it took me by surprise, his chiseled features and orange mask. "You look different" I tell him, "You do too" He said. I'm so confused, I left the lair like three hours ago, there's no way that Mikey could have changed that dramatically in three hours, and what's with the pretending not to know me?

"Hey Mikey, what's wrong? Did something happen?" I asked

"Raph…What happened to you, where have you been" Mikey began to shout

"Whoa calm down Mikey I was only out for a run" I tell him the truth

"Why are you making jokes?" Mikey shouted, "We thought you were dead"

"Dead! Mikey it's only been about three hours" I felt my head begin to hurt

"Three hours? Raph you've been missing for years" Mikey screamed

I give him a odd look, I knew It, it was a joke, I begin to laugh, "Good one Mikey, you actually had me going there"

"You think this is some kind of joke?" Mikey said in disgust

"It has to be…I left the lair three hours ago"

"Raph…Look" Mikey said, placing a hand on my shoulder and turning me around, he faced me toward Time square, I saw the building in the middle with the date on the sign.

August 13, 2017

I stare in shock and confusion at the sign, then I hear Mikey's not so soothing voice anymore enter my ears.

"Raph…You've been missing for five years"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Five Years Gone, So much Lost**

I stare at the illuminating sign for a couple minutes, thinking it had to be a joke. Five years? How was I gone for five years? I left the lair three hours ago? But how did I end up in that alley? As these questions circle my head, I feel faint, like my legs turned into noodles. "Five years" My voice seems uneven and dry. 2017?...Five years? It all seems unreal.

I turn back around and look at Mikey, now understanding why he looks so much older. Do I look older? Thoughts run through my head about how Leo and Don may look older.

What happened to me.

"Come on" Mikey's voice enters my ears, "I'll take you back to the lair". The lair. I wonder if it looks different. Five years? I don't understand. What have I missed? Who's president? Has the world changed at all?

As Mikey began to walk away, I follow him, I remember Mikey didn't like rain. Guess that's now just a memory.

Me and Mikey kept on walking in silence, I didn't like it. I wanted him to talk to me, the more he didn't talk to me, the more worried I get. "What happened to you: Mikey finally says, making a warm feeling go through my skin. "I left…three hours ago" I had nothing else to say, I didn't want to believe I've been gone for five years, but the evidence is too much. "I don't understand, where have you been all these years" Mikey says.

Truthfully…I have no idea. "I don't know…I left the lair, telling you I'd be back in time so we could play your game" I tell him

"My game? Which game?" He asked

"Need for Speed"

"Damn…I remember that game, I lost it though" He says, making my heart sink.

We walk in silence a little longer.

"I don't play much video games anymore" Mikey tells me

I had to giggle, "What? You love video games!"

He looks back at me in a strange glare, his new face scares me a bit, then I remember, the old him use to play video games, and I don't' even know the new him. "What have I missed" I ask.

He lets out a shot laugh, "Five years' worth of sh*t" He says

New Mikey scares me, he never cursed. I get nervous when we stop at the sewer lid, wondering what was down there, and I'm not talking about the tunnels, I'm talking about the lair. What was in there? What have I missed?

Mikey opens the sewer tunnel and enters, I hesitate for a minute. "You coming" He says

"Yeah" I say in a short and soft voice.

As we walk through the tunnel, only one thought runs through my head.

Five years.

What have I missed? I look at Mikey and fear what Don and Leo are like, or Splinter.

Then it dawned on me.

Five Years.

Is Splinter still alive?

My heart sinks with the thought, I really don't want to ask Mikey, just in case.

We get to the lair. I stop him. "Mikey…Is it bad?"

He sighs, turns around and places his hands on my shoulders. "Listen…What ever happened to you…you were never forgotten…and we did our best to look for you"

The sudden talk confused me, it didn't answer my question…what is Mikey not telling me? As think this my heart beats in my throat. He pulls the lever and the door opens, he walks in, then I walk in.

"Don!" He yells

"What?" I hear Don's voice, surprisingly it hadn't changed that much.

"I uhh…There's something you need to see" HE says

I hear Don sigh and get up from his chair, "What did you now Mi-"

HE didn't finish his sentence, he froze when he saw me. I didn't know what else to do so I just waved.

"Raph" He says, He slowly walks up to me

"Hi Donnie" I say, not knowing what else to do

He looks at me in shock, then without realizing, I feel a brick wall smash into my face. I fall to the ground and rub my jaw.

"What the hell is wrong with you" Don screams, I see Mikey quickly run to him and hold him back.

"Don calm down" He says

"Donnie listen-" I try to talk to him but he interrupts

"You can't just go missing for years then decide to come back" Donnie shouts…I don't like it when he shouts, he's usually the nicest guy you can talk to, then when he yells, you feel the worst feeling ever.

"Don is wasn't his choice" Mikey shouts

Don goes quiet, he looks at me, than at Mikey, "What are you talking about"

"Don…I left the lair, then next thing I know I wake up in an alley five years later…Like I just lost five years of my life" I tell him

He looks at me.

"I was hoping you could find out what happened to him" Mikey tells him

Don takes a breath, "Yeah…Yeah step into my lab"

…..

Two hours later he sighs and looks at me.

"Well…You ok, nothing wrong with you, and truth is….You say you have no memory of what happened before you left the lair" Don says

"No I remember everything as if it happened yesterday" I tell him

He sighs again, "I don't know what else to say, I can't explain any of this, this is way beyond my knowledge" Don says

"Can't you think of anything?" Mikey asked from the corner

"My guess is some kind of amnesia" Don said

"Yes but why? Raph do you have any idea what could have happen to you?" Mikey asks me

"No, I can't explain any of this" I say

Then a noise enters my ears, I look toward the door and see Splinter standing at the doorway. "Oh my god" I couldn't help but say, fur looks like a sickly white with hints of brown left. I wouldn't be surprised if he couldn't throw a punch anymore.

"Raphael" He says, "You are alive" He said

"Yeah, I found him on the rooftops" Mikey said, rubbing the back of his head

"What is the meaning of you disappearance" Splinter asks me, his voice sounding on the edge of giving out

"I don't know…I remember me leaving the lair, then I wake up in an alley five years later" I say

Splinter just looks at me, then he walks up to me and wraps his arms around me. "I have missed you my son" He says

I don't know what to tell him, because really, I didn't miss him, it felt like the last time I've seen him was three hours ago, not even, maybe like one hour. But I keep my mouth shut and hug him. When he lets go of me, Don Walks up to me.

"Sorry for slugging you back there" He says, hugging me as well

I let out a laugh, "I understand"

Splinter walks out and it just leaves me, Don and Mikey. I look at Mikey, finally getting a better look at him without the rain and darkness. It was more different that I thought. His cheeks looked more defined, his body was bigger, arms more toned, and his face looked like it has been though stuff. "Where did you get the scar" Don asks me. A scar? What scar? "What scar" I ask. He turns around and hands me a little mirror. I look into it and I'm instantly surprised, my face had changed, worry lines more noticeable, cheeks thinner, and a scar on the left of my eye. "I have no idea" I say

"Well that answers one question" Mikey says

I look at him, "What?"

"You were awake and alive those five years" He says

I think about that for a second, then I look out the door, looking at the lair. Then I notice something.

"Hey…Don't mean to change the subject but…Where's Leo?" I ask

Don and Mikey look at each other, my skin turns cold.

"Guys" I say nervously

Mikey sighs, "While you were missing…Me, Don and Leo tried out best to find you…we never gave up…but Leo wouldn't stop…There were some days when he would spend all night looking for you, we tried to tell him to leave it be, after almost a year of searching for you, it became tedious…But he stop, putting himself in danger for answers and…"

"Mikey…" I say

"…Leo's dead"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

My stomach goes up into my throat, refraining me to make a noise. I open my mouth, but all that comes out is a small squeak, I stare at the floor.

"Raph?" Don says, I can hear the worry in his voice

Mikey walks up to me and he places a gentle hand on my shoulder, "It's ok Raph, he died looking for you", Mikey's words of comfort didn't work on me, I felt like I could never stop this wound from hurting, like a large gash on my heart that will never heal. I stand up, placing my hand on my head and turned away from my brothers, I didn't want them to see me cry, but I just couldn't hold it in.

Part of me wanted to run, but that's how this whole situation started. I feel Mikey's hand forcefully grab my shoulder and turn me around, there was nothing else to do, so I wrap up arms around him and held on to him tightly, crying my eyes out in his shoulder.

I feel low, lower than dirt, knowing that Leo died because of me. Why did this happen to me, did I do something wrong to make my whole life turn upside down?

"Come on, let's get you something to eat" Mikey said in his deep voice that still scares me

Truthfully, I'm not that hungry, but I know that food will do me good right now, I don't know when the last time I ate was. I don't even know what I did a few hours ago.

Leo's voice travels though my head, with something he would always tell me. 'Never let your emotions get to you and change you, only you can change your emotions' He would tell me every time I would get mad at Mikey for some stupid reason. And

I can't even think right now, even with this bowl of cereal that was in front of me. I grabbed the spoon, forced into the cereal and dropped the piece of grain in my mouth. My stomach resisted the food, but I ignored it and continued eating.

I hear Don and Mikey mumbling in Don's lab, talking about something, but I can't understand them, the only words I could make out were What, Tell, stupid, and know.

Are they hiding something from me? If so I want to know what it is.

Mikey walks in and went to the counter, looked like cleaning it. He never cleaned! Well….The old Mikey didn't. I sigh, "Mikey" I say surprisingly soft.

"Yeah Raph" He says

I don't want to ask, but I have to know…I need to know, "How did Leo die?"

Mikey doesn't respond quickly, he turns his head back to the counter and keeps cleaning, "It's better for you not to know" He says finally

"Mikey…Tell me" I say getting a little angry

"No…Raph you don't need to know" Mikey says louder

I couldn't keep it held it, I let the anger out, stand up and flip my glass of cereal over, "God Damnit Mikey, Tell me"

I hear Mikey chuckle, "You still got it Raph…Never lost that short fuse you had", He turned around and leaned on the counter, "You really want to know?"

I hesitate for a minute, take a deep breath and nod my head.

Mikey sighed, "When you went missing, we never gave up looking for you, like I said, but after months and months of searching for you, we found the same thing...nothing…It was the hardest thing to do but, we had to call off the search…But Leo refused to give up"

I see Mikey close his eyes, like something had come to him, like a sudden memory.

"He was putting himself in danger for answers, putting himself at risk just to find you…and trust me, me and Don wanted to help, but we couldn't find a place to start out and Leo would never let us go with him…so he made up stay home while he looked for you"

I can tell Mikey's having trouble telling me this, my theory is confirmed when I see a tear leave his eye.

"So one night, he tells us he was going for a run, but me and Don knew it was more secret spy type of deal" More tears were leaving his eyes at this point, making me want to cry, but I hold it in, "So me and Don decide to follow him, just to see what exactly he was doing…so we followed…and we saw him walk into a ware house…and saw we got closer to see what was inside…The damn warehouse explodes…Just like that" He said snapping his finger.

"And the only thing we found in the rubble was his F#KING MASK" he picked up a plate from the sink and launched it across the room, making me watch as it shattered into the wall.

"Mikey" I try to calm him down

"We could have stopped him…if only we went with him, of only he would let us go with them then he would still be alive and we would have soon found you…but no…we didn't do a god damn thing and now Leo's dead…he's dead and it's all MY FAULT" Mikey shouts and slams his fists into the counter

I couldn't watch anymore, I jump up and run to him, wrapping my arms around him and holding him tightly. He buries his face into my shoulder and lets out a hard sob.

"It's my fault Raph…It's my fault" Mikey whispered

"It's ain't you're fault Mike…It's no one's fault" I tell him

….

I didn't know what else to do, I see Mikey in the dojo practicing his moves, his comments still linger in my head, how was Leo's death his fault? I didn't know where else to turn, so I walk to Don's lab and tap my knuckles on the door. He turns around and sees me, "Hey" He said

"Hey…Mind if I chill in here?" I ask, not wanting to chill, but to talk to him, "Sure" He signals me to sit down and I oblige. I get comfortable and see Don quickly get back into his work, I stay quiet for a couple minutes before talking, looking around the lab, it hasn't changed much since he left, which still felt like yesterday, but it was really years.

I sigh loud enough for Don to hear me, "Why does Mikey thing that Leo's death is his fault?" I ask finally

Don sighs as well, "I don't know…after years of wondering, I am still not sure why Mikey thinks it's his fault"

I go back to what he said, wondering for years? "You've been wondering for years?" I ask him

"Yeah…Before Leo left…He and Mikey talked in private, it kinda made me feel left out and betrayed, but I didn't care, but when Leo left, I look at Mikey and he looked like he was guilty for something, that's when he suggested we follow him" Don explained

Great, another question to add to my list, what did Leo tell Mikey on that day?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**What have I Missed?**

It's been almost three days since I got back…and I still feel like a stranger…It doesn't help that so much has changed, but it burns inside, I want to know what Leo told Mikey. It must have been something to spook him enough to follow him. I want to ask him but I know he's not going to tell me. Maybe me and Don can find a way to calm talk to him and see if he cracks. It stings my brain, thinking about what Leo could have to him to make Mikey think that it was his fault for Leo's death.

I stand up and walk away from the couch, sitting there for almost two hours now, my legs are sore. Don't really have much else to do, so I walk into Don's lab.

"Hey bro" I say

Donnie turns around and looks at me, "Hey dude", He watches me pull up a chair and sit down, sighing, "What's wrong?" He asks

"I don't know" I say honestly, "Just a slow day"

"Tell me about it" He says, standing up and stretching, "It was worse when you weren't here"

That's when I felt my stomach grow small, knowing that they have lived without me for five years…and it feels like I've seen them every day of my life. "I need your help" I say finally, starting to get nervous

"With what?" Don asks me

"Well…I need to know what Leo told Mikey" My gut told me that it may have had something to do with where I've been. But that would be ridiculous.

"I don't know what to tell you…every time I bring that time up to Mikey he always either tells me he doesn't want to talk about it and then stays quiet. Or he just gets angry"

I sigh, not knowing what to do, "I'll find a way" I say half truthfully

A silence made his way through the lab, a tingle rolls down my spine for some reason. Then I hear Mikey walk into the lab, "April's here"

Wasn't expecting that one, and I could tell that Mikey knew that, "I thought you knew?" He says

"No…I didn't" I say

Mikey walked out and I hear him greet April, I go to walk out, but I feel Don's hand pull me back in.

"Listen…I need to talk to you about April" Don tells me

My curiosity heightens, "What about?"

"Well sh-" He stared but was interrupted

"RAPH!" I heard

I turn around and see April standing at the doorway, holding a big smile on her face and hearing a hat covering most of her head. She runs up to me and hugs me, she lets go, "Oh my god can't believe you're alive" She says

"Neither can I" I say, then notice the hat again, "What's with the hat" I ask

At the point I hear Don obnoxiously cough and I see Mikey motioning me to stop. "Oh well while you were gone I was diagnosed with untreatable cancer" She tells me

Right there, I feel a knife go through my heart, I look at her emotionless, not knowing what to do. Then Splinter walks in and greets April. But I do nothing, just stand there, looking at the floor dumbly. April and Splinter walk out, Don follows, but Mikey stays still. I hear him sigh, "I was hoping you didn't ask…she really doesn't take her situation seriously" He said

There's a lump in my throat, I can't respond. "I was hoping she would go easy on you…she kind of went rough on me…luckily I told Donnie"

I want to tell him I understand, but truthfully I don't, and I want to say something but I feel a lump in my throat. I clear my throat and that seems to get rid of it, "Yeah" That wasn't what I intended to say, but it works.

Mikey sighs and walked up to me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"When was she diagnosed" I finally manage to say

Mikey gives me a look like he doesn't want me to know…"About a year ago" He says softly, "Doctor's give her two months"

That's when I feel my heart break into two, to know that you're best friend been told she's going to die…and not being there for her.

"You need some time?" Mikey asked

I try to say yes, but I end up just nodding my head. He nodded and walked out of the lab, leaving Raph alone in the lab. Raph slouched down into Don's chair, resting his head in his hands. Head punding with questions.

What else have I missed?

Where have I been while I've been claimed dead?

What did Leo tell Mikey?

What else does Mikey know?

I feel it deep down that Mikey's knows more then he claims to, I can see it in his face that he's hiding something. That's when I heard two soft knocks on the door, I look up and see my timeworn father looking at me.

"Raphael…What troubles you" Splinter said softly

I look back down at the ground, "I don't know…I feel like I've missed so much…I don't even know Mikey anymore…April's sick" I feel my stomach drop when I try to say the last one, "And Leo…" I bring my hand to my head to cover the incoming tears. I hear Splinter sigh and take a seat next to me. I continue whimpering as he lays a hand on my shoulder.

"Raphael…You cannot live your life in regret…no matter how much time you have missed…You still have a life to live, you may lose the ones you're close to, you're friends, you're family"

"But Splinter…Leo died looking for me…I don't know what else to do…I feel like I've killed my brother" Raph said tears running down his face

"Leonardo tried his best to find you…He would come home every night with a new scar or bruise…he damaged himself just to look for you…and in the end, it killed him" I can tell Splinter was having trouble with this conversation, "It just proves how much he would go through to find you…One night…He comes into my room…his face stained with tears…and he tells me that he's failed...that he failed as a brother to protect you…but he said to me one thing" Splinter then took a deep breath…I try to quiet my whimpering to hear it. "He told me that he knew you were alive…That he knew you were still out there…and I guess he was right…but my question is…Did he say that because he didn't want to face the fact that you were gone…or he actually knew you were alive"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Forgotten Enemies **

Once April left, there was nothing much to do after that, it was already late, so I said good night to my brothers and headed up to my bed. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep, once I was laid down, I was out. As I slept, I was faced with yet again, another strange dream. This one was of me and Leo, running away from a crowd of these mutated creatures. We jumped from building to building and fought out way threw them, but I always ended the same, a creature landing in front of us, picking me up and slamming me to the ground. Then I wake up, and now I'm sitting here, eating my cereal in the silence, alone, with my dream still floating around in my head.

I stare dumbly into my bowl of oats and grains', looking like it hasn't been touched since it's been poured. I have a weird feeling in my gut that's telling me that my dreams lately aren't dreams, but memories…Is that even possible? I ask myself.

I hear Mikey walk down the stairs, his rugged features still scare me a bit. But I have a feeling this situation had something to do with that.

"Morning" He says

I reply and pour a spoonful of cereal down my throat. "How long has Don been up?" He asks

Confused, I peek out of the kitchen and into his lab, and sure enough there he is, working on some kind of invention.

"Truthfully…I had no idea he was up" I tell Mikey

He makes a smug face them finishes his water, stretching his back. "You want to come out patrolling with me?" He asks, he actually sounded like the old Mikey there for a second.

I smile, "Sure"

He smiles, "Cool, I'm going to take a quick shower"

I think about it, "Wouldn't it make more sense to take a shower after getting back?"

He shrugs, "Don't know…I've always been the weird one remember" He says

I giggle, "You got a point there knuckle head" I tell him, he leaves the kitchen with a grin on his face, I think about it. Maybe things will go back to normal. But for now, I must talk to Don.

I finish up my cereal and quick walk into Don's lab, seeing him stretch his arms.

"Hey" I say

He turns around, "Hey Raphie"

I cough out, "I thought that nickname died out"

"Nicknames never die out" He response

"Heh, I guess, hey I have a question" I ask him

"Sure, what's the question?"

I sit down in the chair, "What can you tell me about dreams"

He gives me a weird look, then hums, "Umm ok…Well dreams are a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep. They mainly occur in the rapid-eye movement stage of sleep, when brain activity is high and resembles that of being awake."

"Ok ok, but what kind of dreams are there?" I ask him

"Well there are many types of dreams, Lucid Dreams, Daydreams, Nightmares, Progressive dreams"

"What about dreams that involve past events" I ask

I can tell he catches on with what I'm getting at, "Why? Have you been having dreams of memories that you think happened to you?" Don asks

"I don't think so…Because my last dream, it was me and Leo, and we were running away from these weird type creatures"

"Hmm…Well I guess it's possible that dreams can bring up forgotten memories, but I'm not a hundred percent sure" Don says

I sigh, "Ok, hey you want to go out patrolling with me and Mikey?"

"Umm….Actually…why don't you and him go alone and see if you can coax him into telling you what Leo told him?" Don asked

I think about it, it would be a good opportunity, I guess, "Umm…Yeah I guess"

Then I look into Don's face, his face turned from one extreme to another. Like he had just found something out.

"What's wrong?" I ask

"..Nothing" He says, "Good luck with Mikey" He quickly turns back around and returns to his work.

I feel my stomach shrink, I don't know what just happened, but now Don knows something.

And I don't know if I'm even ready for any of this.

…

I stop to catch my breath, feeling a little out of breath. Mikey walks up next to me and pats my shell, "You're losing it bro, you use to out run me faster than a chicken with its head cut off"

I chuckle, "Let's just sit down for a while" I say, he nods his head and takes his spot at the edge of the building. I get off my knees and follow him. Taking a seat right next to him, I look out in the distance and admire the view of the building's and the beautiful sight of central park in the middle of spring, flowers standing erect in the patches of gardens, the leaves on the trees glistening in the sun. It was perfect.

"I remember when you were missing….Me and Don took a trip up here, and we just sat here and talked…it…it felt right…like everything was normal, I mean you and Leo were presumed dead…But at that moment…I felt like everything was going to be ok" Mikey confessed

I smile, wanting to ask him, but not wanting to ruin a perfect moment like this. That's when I feel something vibrate on me. I look down and see my phone lit up. I grab it and flip it open, seeing a message from Don.

"The Belleview Tower"

I stare confused at the message, but I put it away and bring my focus back to view. "Mikey…Can I ask you something?" I felt a lump form

He looked at me confused, "Sure"

"…Mikey…This whole situation has been very confusing to all of us, especially me…I have so many questions in my head…and I need you to answer one for me….I need to know" Raph said

I have a feeling Mikey already knows the question, but he humors me, "Go on"

I take a deep breath, "Before Leo left the lair that day…what did he tell you"

Mikey was quiet, a little too quiet for comfort. Then my heart literally jumps out of my chest when I hear a gunshot behind me. I turn my body around and see three guys with ski masks on, I feel my anger drop and fear rise. I look at Mikey and see a bullet wound in his neck. That's when I begin to freak out, I hold my fingers to his neck to try and stop the bleeding, he's still alive, but if he doesn't get medical help, he'll die.

"Thought you could get away from us could you" I hear, then feel one of the guys begin to pull me away. I try to force myself out of his grip, but the two others joined in and had a tight grip on me. As they pulled me away from Mikey, I reach into my belt, grab my phone, press the emergency button and slide the phone toward Mikey. Then the masked people hold me down.

"No one escapes from Beliar" One of them says, and then they rise up the gun and strike me in the face, cutting me off from consciousness.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Familiar Faces**

Once I opened my eyes, I felt a odd feeling in my head, not pain, but a slight discomfort. I couldn't shake the feeling. But after I decided to ignore it, I looked around; the room I am in is unfamiliar. Then I noticed that my hand and feet are in chains, what the hell? I think. I don't know what to do, I just sit there, confused. Then a door opened to the left of me and some guy in a nice suit walks in.

"Hello Raphael" He says

I don't want to respond, so I just keep looking at him.

"Quiet again…This isn't a good way to start our talk" He continues

"Where am I?" I ask him

"There are more important things to discuss" He says

I groan in anger.

"Now listen to me…Last time we met you promised us that you would bring us the relic…now where is it?"

"Listen…I have no memory of the past five years…I have no idea what you're talking about…You're wasting your time" I tell him

"Oh…If I'm wasting my time" He pulls out a gun and points it at Raph's head, "Then I'll just stop wasting your time as well"

"No" I say quickly

He takes the gun away and puts it back in its holster, "Now tell me, Where is the relic? Beliar does not like to wait"

"I don't know...Like I said…I don't remember anything" I say truthfully

"Hmm…Because when we last talk, what was it? Two months ago? You and your partner seemed very knowing of where the relic was"

I looked at him confused, "Partner?"

"Yes…If I remember correctly he goes by the name of Zeus" The man tell me

"Zeus? Listen man…I have no idea what you're talking about" I said

"Hmm…Shame" He says standing up, fixing his tie, "Seems we're just going to have to force you to remember"

I feel my skin turn cold as he walked out of the room, l look at the chain wrapped around my hand and begin to tug at it. Then the door opened again and a much bigger man walks in, grabs whatever I'm attached to and begins to push me out of the room.

We enter a hallway and I see something that looks like a mental hospital. But it looks abandoned, I mean the lights were on and it looks clean, but it was empty. As we traveled along the hallway, I noticed there were a lot of windows, the building wasn't that high, he could literally jump out of the window and land on another rooftop and make a quick getaway.

I start to mess with the chains again, trying to make it not noticeable.

Then the man pushing me opens another door and pushes me inside. We stop and he walks out of the room, leaving me alone. But this time, I'm not alone. There's a man sitting in the corner.

"Oh god…They got you again" He said

The man seemed to have known me, "Uh…I'm sorry but who are you?" I asked

"What? You don't remember me? It's me! Oscar, you know the one who got you out of the coma!"

"Coma?" My brain feels like mush, I don't know where I am, who these people are, but they seem to know me and I've seem to have been here before.

"Yeah…back in 2012 I think…The purple dragons were chasing you on the rooftops and you fell off the edge, hit your head pretty hard…I took care of the purple dragons and I took you to my house and got you out of your coma" Oscar said

"I'm sorry…But I don't know who you are, I don't remember anything" I tell him

"You don't remember? What happened to you?" He asked

"I don't know…I woke up a week ago to find out that I lost five years of my life" I said

He looks at me, "Five years…Wow"

"And I have no idea what happened to me"

"Oh…Well like I said…You were in a coma for maybe two years…When you woke up you said you had three brothers, but that you couldn't go back to them" Oscar tells me

"Why not" I ask

"Cause you said you've been away from them for so long that they would think you were dead…You weren't making sense, like you had some lasting affect from the fall"

"Well…At least I know some of what I did…can you tell me anything else?" I wonder

"Well I think that was it…You in the coma, the relic…yeah that's it"

"What about the other three years…what did I do?" I doubt he'll know anything, by the look on his face he seems to be unknowing.

"No clue, I only saw you a couple times after that" Oscar said

I sigh, "What about Zeus?"

"That freaky dude you hung around with? I don't know anything about him, just that you two seemed to be best friends"

That doesn't help me, I sigh, and then begin to fumble with the chains again.

"Good luck with that chain buddy…no one can escape those" He tells me

I give him a half smile, brace myself, and then gave the chains a good tug. I heard the chain break and fall to the ground. My arm hangs limply at my side.

"No one huh?" I say

He just stares at me in shock, I bring the other arm up and break the other chain, for being unbreakable, those chains were cheap.

"Come on, let's get out of here" I say, getting him out of his chains

"But how?" He asks

"Just follow me"

We go to the door and look outside, it was empty. I signal him to follow as I sneak out the door and down the hallway.

"It seems to empty" He whispers

"You sound like my brother" I tell him, smiling

I find the hallway with the window and we walk down it, but as we walk past a door, it opens and a security guard comes out. I half wanted to fight, but also wanted to run, but as I look, Oscar had already ran at him and began to do his thing.

This dude was fast, like I never seen a human move this fast. The security guard didn't know what hit him, Oscar takes the gun out of his hands and slams him to the ground.

"Wow" Was all I could say

"I know my fair share of moves" He says

I went to respond but I hear yells from behind. I look and see security guards ran toward us. Oscar already began shooting at them, telling me to run.

So I do, I push my feet forward toward the window. I see bullets fly around me as I run, but I make it to the window unharmed. I leap through it and feel the window shatter around me. I extend my arms and legs and watch the rooftop come quickly, I brace for impact and feel it come up hard. A slight pain in my ankle makes me groan, but I ignore it and stand up.

I see Oscar already begin to run in front of me, I push off and follow him. I catch up to him, "Go back to your lair" He tells me

"What about you?" I ask

"Don't worry about me…Just get back to your brothers" He says, "I'll see ya later" then he turns and runs away from me. I stop and watch him, remembering that Mikey has been shot. Did Don ever get to him?

I sigh in nervous and book it to the lair. Lifting the lid and jumping down, the pain in my ankle shoots up again. I shake my head and ran toward the lair. I walk in and instantly see Don.

"Raph!" He says

"Don! Where's Mikey!" I ask almost shouting

"In the lab" He says

I run to the lab and look inside, seeing Mikey on the table with bandages on his chest. I sigh in relief and turned around.

"Raph what happened? Where have you been?" Don asks

"I don't know…these people shot Mikey and took me somewhere…it has something to do with where I've been for the last five years" I say

He hums, "Strange" Then he notices me having trouble with my ankle, his brotherly instincts kick in and instantly goes to work on me.

I feel something vibrate in my belt, I grab my phone and look at the new message.

**Where are you?**

**-Zeus**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**It's you**

**Who is this?**

**-Raph**

I waited for a response, eager to know who this Zeus guy is. Then my phone blinked up.

**You went back to Raph? What happened to Poseidon?**

**-Zeus**

Poseidon? What was this guy talking about? My ankle shots up a small pain, I cringe and groan. Don heard me.

"You ok?" He asked

"Yeah I'm fine" I tell him, then respond to the message

**Listen man, This might sound odd but I have no memory of the past five years, so I don't know who you are, I don't know what happened to me**

**-Raph**

I stared down at my phone, awaiting a response, but nothing came up. I start to worry, but I couldn't give up, I needed to know who this Zeus guy is.

"Raph? Can I talk to you?" Don asked

I look up and see Don in the kitchen, "Sure, one sec" I look back at my phone, no new response. I sigh, standing up and walked into the kitchen, I glance at Don. Looking at his face, I see he looks worried, or scared.

"Whats the matter" I asked

"Ok…I thought you needed to know this….Mikey doesn't know because I…I just can't do it to him" Don said

I look at him oddly, "Don?"

"When me and Mikey followed Leo to the warehouse, and it exploded, we went to the warehouse to try and find Leo. And remember when Mikey said all we found was a mask" Don said

"Yeah" I say roughly

"Well…That's all he found" Don said

My heart dropped, "What did you find?" Raph asked

"Well….Everything else" Don said

I sat there in silence, unable to believe what I was hearing.

"I couldn't tell Mikey because he was so certain that Leo was still alive…I couldn't tell him that he was wasting his time" Don said

I cover my head, "You're going to have to tell him sometime" I tell him

"I know but….I don't know how to tell him" Don responded

"Just come out with it….There's no other way of doing it" I tell him

He sighs, "...I…I can't do it alone"

I feel my heart begin to warm, I stand up and hug him, "It's ok…I'll be right here"

He sighs deeply in my shoulder, then we both heard a sound that makes us both look up.

"Mikey" Don says silently, then ran to the lab

I followed close by and saw Mikey sit up as we entered.

"Don't sit up just yet!" Don said

Mikey ignored him and sat up, rubbing his shoulder, "What happened?" He asked

"We got attacked! These guys shot you and kidnapped me!" I tell him

"They kidnapped you?"

"Yeah, but I escaped" I reassure him

He sighs and lays back down, "I'm sore" He says

Me and Don giggle, "You're going to be, I'll give you some pain killers and you can lay down on the couch and watch TV" Mikey nods and waits for Don. Don goes to his desk and finds the painkillers while I just stand there and watch. Then I feel the vibrations.

I quickly grab my phone and flip it open, reading the message.

**We must talk face to face  
>Zeus<strong>

I feel a jolt of relief, I finally get to see who this man is, who my supposed partner was.

I quickly reply.

Just give me the time and place  
>Raph<p>

As I send the message, I look up and see Mikey standing in front of me.

"Who are you messaging?" He asked

I don't know whether I should tell him anything, I start stuttering, "Umm, no one" I say

He looks at me for a second, and then walks away. I watch as he walks away, then looks back down at my phone.

**Now  
>On top of the old Hamilton apartments<br>-Zeus**

Now? Was this guy crazy? I sighed and put my phone away, I look up and see Don passing me, giving me a look of worry. I grab his shoulder and pull him close, I look at Mikey and see him focusing on the tv. Then I whisper into his ear, "I'm going out for a little bit".

He looks at me with a worried face and mouths, "Where?"

I place a hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry…Just look after Mikey"

I turn to leave the lair, but then a feel a forceful hand pull me into the lab, I see Don shut the door and look at me.

"Raph what are you thinking?" Don almost shouts

"Don I need to-" I try to talk

"No! You've been gone for five years and when you come back you try and get yourself killed" Don now shouts

"Don you-"

"Mikey almost died today…and all you can think about it what happened to you" Don said, "Raph…It's the past…forget it. It doesn't matter what happened to you, what matters is that you're at home with your brothers" Don said

I stayed silent, scared that he's yelling at me. I don't know what to say, "Donnie…I got to do this one last thing…I have to"

Don looks at me, "Ok…Ok fine go ahead" He opens the door, "Go and get yourself killed just like Leo" then he walks out and disappears from sight. I stand in the lab like a total idiot, feeling like my heart just shrunk.

I exhale and walk out, seeing Mikey avoiding my gaze. This doesn't help. I sigh again and walk to the door. I take one last look around the lair, seeing Mikey on the couch, when I looked at him, he quickly looked away and back to the TV. I wanted to see Don once more before I left, but I couldn't see him and I am pretty sure that he doesn't want to talk to me. This makes me feel low. I open the lair door and walk out, nothing on my mind except my brothers.

"I love you guys" I say quietly


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Moment of Truth**

The quiet trip from the tunnel to the city above wasn't a pleasant one, Don's words were circling my head. And just the way Mikey sat there, ignoring everything. I don't know why but that sent chills down my spine. He never just sat there and ignored it, he use to try and stop it as much as he can. But he just sat there.

I feel the cold steel rungs hit on my palm as I wrap my hand around it. Slowly climbing up the ladder, I think about Zeus, this guy knows it all, he's been with me since I got out of the coma.

Then I remember what Oscar said, I've been in a coma for two years because I fell off a building while being chased by purple dragons, which I don't understand.

Purple dragons don't scare me, I always kick there asses, so why did I run away from them?

I ponder this thought as step up onto the building. It brings back memories of what Mikey told me the night I woke up.

_"Raph…What happened to you, where have you been" Mikey began to shout_

_"Whoa calm down Mikey I was only out for a run" I tell him the truth_

_"Why are you making jokes?" Mikey shouted, "We thought you were dead"_

_"Dead! Mikey it's only been about three hours" I felt my head begin to hurt_

_"Three hours? Raph you've been missing for years" Mikey screamed  
><em>  
>I cough out in an unnecessary laugh, remembering the uneasy memory. No matter how much I try and remember the events before that, I just cannot.<p>

As I run across the rooftops, I feel my ankle begin to give me trouble, the painkillers are giving away. But my ankle isn't the only thing that's giving me trouble.

I feel a slight pain in my chest, I stop and place my hand in it, and I look down and notice a slight discoloration in my plastron.  
>I stare oddly and run my fingers around it, feeling an odd rough surface. Then I look up, noticing I'm closing in on the spot where Zeus told me to meet him.<p>

I feel a slight churn in my heart as I begin to walk again, not knowing where this will take me, it could be a trap. But it doesn't matter, I need to know what happened to me.

Then I look up and see him, just standing there, waiting for me. I stop, staring at him. There's all these feelings rushing though me, and I can't decide which one to feel. Fear? Comfort? Shock? I just don't know.

I bit my lip, and then jerk my legs forward to walk closer to him. Then I see him look up at me, I can't see his face, but I see his head move. He wears a hood and the shadow it casts refrains me from seeing his face.

I jump on the building and walk up to him and stop. We stand there, looking at each other. Silent.

"Hello Raph" He says, I notice that he is straining his voice to sound different. Who is this guy?

"Hey" was I could say, and then it hits me, I know who this guy is.

"So...you don't know who I am?" Zeus says

"No...I don't remember anything" I say roughly

It was silent again, I lost sight of everything. Thinking to myself, are my thoughts fooling me.

"How did Mikey and Don take it?" he asked

"They were both shocked, and Don almost broke my jaw, so I think they took it well"

He chuckled, that very chuckle that has comforted me for years.

"Leo?" I say finally

It was silent, he takes a deep breath, "Raph...I'm sorry...Leo died in that explosion"

"No...No I can't believe that...not until I see proof" I shout, feeling an emptiness in my stomach

He looks at me, still unable to see his face. "You want proof" he dug his hand in his pocket and pulled out a picture, "Here's you proof"

He held it up and I got a clear view of it. Leo, lying on the ground, half of his body burnt and his mask missing.

"No" I say softly, not wanting to believe it.

Then I hear someone scream and Zeus is tackled to the ground. I look down and see Mikey on top of him, holding him down. Then Don grabs my shoulder, "Let's go" he shouted.

"But-" I stammered

"No! Let's go" Don shouted

I begin to follow him, looking back, I see Mikey stop punching him and follow us.

"Wait! Guys!" Zeus shouts

"Guys we can't leave him there" I say

"Yes we can, Raph you've got to stop living like this" Mikey shout

"Guys stop!" Zeus shouts

"Why should we!" Don shouted back

"It's me!"

We all stop, frozen in fear. We look back and see him standing there, he grabs his hood and removes it.

We all stared in shock and disbelief at our older brother standing there.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I stare in pure disbelief at my older brother who is standing there. He's supposed to be dead, I saw the picture, I saw the evidence, it's true, and he's dead. And yet, he's standing there, looking at me. I feel anger bubble up in the pit of my stomach.

"Leo, but...how? You're dead" I stammer

"...I'm sorry" Leo says softly

I don't know what else to say, then Don starts shouting.

"No! No I saw you! I saw your body! You were dead!" Don shouts

I turn around and see Mikey falling to his knees, tears rolling out of his eyes.

"I'm sorry...but I needed you to believe I was dead" Leo tries to explain, but I don't want to hear it.

"So this was just a lie, everything...your death...the explosion" I turn around to face Don and Mikey, "what else have you guys lied to me about...Aprils cancer?...Me being gone for years...has anything you told me even been remotely true?" I scream.

They look at me with shock and embarrassment, Don goes to say something, but I turn around and sprint away. The pressure was just too much, I couldn't take it, there was nothing else to do. I don't know what's real anymore, I don't know if anything they had told me was true.

I jump across the building and stopped, nothing else to do, I fall to my knees and punch the ground.

Why me?

Why did this have to happen to me?

I had everything, a good life, good friends, three brothers, and in one night, it was all ruined.

"Raph?" I hear

I look behind me and see Leo standing there, I can't keep it in, I can't hold it anymore.

I jump up and wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder. Crying my eyes out.

"I'm so sorry Raph" he says softly

"Why me" I ask myself again.

"Shhhh" Leo soothes

I look up and see Mikey and Don catching up with him.

They're here, I'm not alone anymore. I have my brothers. Were together again, and nothing will tear us apart.

We all returned to the lair, Splinter almost had a heart attack at the sight of Leo, we all said what we had to say and then Leo got down to business. He tells me he has no idea what happened to me, but that he knew the people who did, and turns out, it's that beliar guy who did everything. And he tells me that he and I needed to go and finish him off.

Tonight.


End file.
